Jordan Z

When I was in 6th grade, three years ago, there was a girl in my class named Jessie. Her older brother Jordan was a junior. He had had health problems all his life. There was something wrong with his lungs, and as a result, his heart had to work harder, over stressing it. That year in 6th grade, Jordan got a heart and lung transplant. My small class of 12 prayed for him just about every school day. His transplant went great and the organs weren’t really rejected. I hadn’t really thought about Jordan lately, and I haven’t talked to Jessie in a while, so I had no idea how Jordan was doing. Recently, though, I found out his body is rejecting the organs, 3 years after the surgery. The doctors told him that only a miracle can save him, and he has anywhere from 2 months to 2 years. As I said, my class prayed for Jordan almost every school day of 6th grade. When I found out that Jordan’s heart and lungs were being rejected, I asked God, "Why?" Well, I didn’t just ask, I shouted at Him. I couldn’t understand why this was happening. Hadn’t our prayers worked? And my class wasn’t the only people praying for Jordan. Did our prayers have no effect? Then I realized 3 years. Jordan had 3 years of being healthy. Before his surgery, he couldn’t even walk upstairs at school without turning blue. Afterwards, he could run and jump and just be normal. And he graduated from high school. They didn’t even expect him to live to be old enough to graduate when he was younger, let alone be healthy enough to do schoolwork. I remember being at his graduation. It was my school’s first. His mom said something along the lines of "Jordan can be proud to say he graduated fifth in his class." I should mention that there were only five people in the graduating class of 2001.


I wrote that on February 6, 2003, when I was in 9th grade. That was about one and a half years ago. When I look back on it now, it seems unfinished. When I wrote it, I expected to hear any day that Jordan had died. But he didn’t. Instead I heard he got better. He didn’t regain perfect health, but better than he was. And then I didn’t hear much. Every so often, I would hear someone say, "Oh Jordan’s not doing very well." But, like I said, I didn’t hear very much. Then today I saw on my mom’s e-mail that Jordan’s funeral is Wednesday, October 13, 2004. Jordan died on Sunday, October 10, 2004. It was expected, yet unexpected. I’ve known that Jordan would die someday. I just wasn’t expecting it now. I wasn’t expecting it today.

It wasn’t fair that Jordan was so sick that he needed a transplant. It wasn’t fair that the transplant didn’t work as well as it was supposed to. It isn’t fair that he died. But life is not fair. However...God is fair. He knows why He did what He did.

My life will go on. Jordan was not my best friend. Jordan was not my brother. I don’t think I’ve even seen Jordan since his graduation in 2001. Jordan’s death will not affect me if I don’t want it to. But I want it to. I want to live my life for God, not for myself. I want to remember that this day could be my last, that there might not be a tomorrow. I want to remember that our God is an awesome God. I want to remember that He knows all the plans He has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans for a hope and a future. I want to remember that He will be with me always, even to the end of the age.

Jordan Z’s obituary is in the paper. Here are excerpts from it:
"Jordan Z, 21 passed from this life into the waiting arms of his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ on Sunday, October 10, 2004.
He graduated from (my school) in May, 2001 and attended (a local community college). Jordan was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension at age 3 and underwent a heart-double lung transplant in January, 2000 at St. Louis Children’s Hospital. He enjoyed history, mythology, collecting comic books, animals, weaponry, music, playing his guitar and making people laugh.
His life, story and testimony touched countless lives. Anyone who knew him was inspired by his courage, faith and quiet acceptance with which he dealt with his condition. He was greatly loved by all who knew him and will be deeply missed."

I didn’t know Jordan very well at all. I prayed for him. I saw him at school a few times. That’s it. I don’t even remember ever speaking to him. But as must be obvious by now, he touched my life. I’m sad that Jordan died. But I don’t think Jordan is sad. I think he is much happier right now than he has ever been in his entire life. He’s in "the waiting arms of his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ." And that’s the best place to be. And now, I think, it’s finally finished.

Me
October 12, 2004

PS Today I had to take the PSAT at the school where Jordan's sister Jessie now attends. I didn't get a chance to talk with her, (I haven't seen or talked to Jessie since 6th or 7th grade) but one of my friends did. And you know what she said? My friend told me that Jessie is so happy for her brother, because he's not in pain any more and he is with Jesus. Wow.